The Psychology Of Desire

Psychologist Esther Perel ‘s research analyses two fundamental drivers of behaviour: stability and adventure. The polarity of these drivers simultaneously create desire; ‘to want’. 

Tony Robbins’ 6 Core Human Needs further validates this, suggesting humans require both stability (certainty) and adventure (uncertainty) in order to be fulfilled. 

Between the balance of certainty and uncertainty is where desire emerges from.

Once you’ve become fully aware of yourself, who you are, what you need and want, you begin to dream of what can be

Through asking questions, observation and curiosity one generally cultivates desire to do, or change something, or to pursue something.

Desires can be grouped into various types according to a few basic distinctions. 

Intrinsic desires concern what the subject wants for its own sake while instrumental desires are about what the subject wants for the sake of something else. 

Occurrent desires are either conscious or otherwise causally active, in contrast to standing desires, which exist somewhere in the back of one’s mind. 

Propositional desires are directed at possible states of affairs while object-desires are directly about objects. 

Various authors distinguish between higher desires associated with spiritual or religious goals and lower desires, which are concerned with bodily or sensory pleasures. 

Desires play a role in many different fields. There is disagreement whether desires should be understood as practical reasons or whether we can have practical reasons without having a desire to follow them. 

According to fitting-attitude theories of value, an object is valuable if it is fitting to desire this object or if we ought to desire it. 

Desire-satisfaction theories of well-being state that a person’s well-being is determined by whether that person’s desires are satisfied.

Marketing and advertising companies have used psychological research on how desire is stimulated to find more effective ways to induce consumers into buying a given product or service. 

Techniques include creating a sense of lack in the viewer or associating the product with desirable attributes. 

Desire is the reason why humans do anything and buy anything

People desire what is out of their reach. And they believe their self worth and social value will increase when obtaining the object of their desire.

People are pulled by two contradictory desires: the desire to be on trend and fit in, and the desire to express oneself, be different and stand out above the crowd. 

But a desire has to be combined with what action would realise it. 

For example,

Healthy desires are generally straightforward – an idea comes, you consider and weigh up options, work towards it and get an outcome – either success or failure. 

How is this different for something we can’t have?