Unfulfilled expectations are the source of all unhappiness…

And unfulfilled expectations cause suffering, said the Buddha.

No desire would lead to no unfulfilled expectations, which, in turn, would lead to no suffering (happiness).

Please relink expectations from suffering and unhappiness right now, as if you rely on this statement, happiness for you will never happen.

Because it is impossible to live a life without any expectations.

Instead, learn to manage it.

And ignore “Expectation is the root of all heartache,” as stated by William Shakespeare.

Because it’s natural for human beings to be let down and disappointed on some occasions. Each occasion has some expectation attached to it, you can never escape it. Expectations are set in your brain, as it anticipates what each thing you become aware of going to do, or become. (Fight or flight)

Yes it is true that Studies show that the reason for heartache, suffering and unhappiness is established from expectations that society and individuals themselves create. 

But It is normal for humans to have anticipations, for themselves, and for what’s going to happen in any event.

The happiness (lets call it satisfaction from now on) derived from any outcome depends on the relative difference between the actual and expected outcomes. 

If you achieve more than expected, you are satisfied, if you achieve less than initially expected, you are dissatisfied, become sad or angry.

Expecting life to always turn out the way you want is guaranteed to lead to disappointment because life will not always turn out the way you want it to. 

And when those unfulfilled expectations involve the failure of other people to behave the way you expect them to, the disappointment turns to resentment.

Merely expecting something to happen will not make it happen. 

Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget noted that young children have difficulty distinguishing between the subjective worlds in their heads and the outer, objective world. 

According to Piaget, children therefore sometimes believe that their thoughts can directly cause things to happen, for example, thinking angry thoughts about your little brother can cause him to fall down the stairs. Piaget referred to this as magical thinking and suggested that we all outgrow it by around age 7.

But, it turns out that many normal adults continue to engage in various forms of magical thinking. 

Prayer can be a form of magical thinking. Witness the huge popularity of The Law of Attraction, which says that our thoughts attract events into our lives. 

For many of us, it is difficult to let go of the idea that expecting something to happen will make it happen.

Human beings have a natural tendency to pin their hopes for happiness on fulfilled expectations. There is nothing wrong with this in and of itself, as long as we have good reasons to believe that fulfilling an expectation will make us happy, and we take the necessary steps toward fulfilling those expectations. 

“Good reasons” might include us knowing from past experience that certain things make us happy. For example, I know from experience that my morning cup of coffee will almost inevitably give me a little bit of happiness. I, therefore, expect this experience each morning after I finish my yoga and breakfast (both of which also reliably give me a bit of happiness).

many of us at some point have mistakenly believed that expecting other people to behave the way we want will actually make them behave that way. 

One member of a couple might expect the other to make coffee. This is fine and good if the other person is happy to do so. But what happens if the other person has no interest in living up to that expectation? We feel shocked, morally indignant, and resentful. 

My research on moral psychology tells me that expectations among people are often based on an implicit social contract. That is, without actually verbalizing expectations about give-and-take in a relationship, people construct stories in their heads about legitimate expectations of each other. 

So, people in a relationship have a “deal” in which the specifics of the deal are never really talked about. (everything is a transaction)

It is hard for someone to live up to your expectations when they don’t know what they are, but you still might see this failure as a violation of your social contract. 

For example, Mary Schaefer writes about how she listened to a friend’s problems for years, even though it was very difficult, because she expected her friend to do the same for her when she wanted to talk about her problems. That did not happen, and the friendship ended. 

Unspoken expectations are almost guaranteed to go unfulfilled. 

Talking openly about what you expect from other people might improve your chances of fulfillment, or so thinks Dawn Sinnott: “By learning to not expect people to know what I want and need, I’ve learned to be much clearer in my communication. I don’t expect my husband to know why I’m pouting; I try to tell him why I’m upset.”

At the same time, it is unrealistic to think that merely communicating your expectations clearly is going to get people to behave the way you want them to. 

Dawn Sinnott continues: “I don’t expect my children to know the house rules all the time; I am very clear when I remind them (even if it’s the 200th time [emphasis added]).” 

A second kind of social contract, one based on authority. Parents assume that their children should obey their expectations because adults have the authority to run a household.

Believing that an unverbalized expectation will bring you what you want is magical thinking and is unrealistic. Expecting that doing what in the past has reliably brought about a result you want is realistic. Expecting others to do what is in your interest, but not their interest, is unrealistic. Expecting others to do what is in both of your interests can be realistic.