Life doesn’t owe you anything

I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I,

and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.

If not, it can’t be helped.

—Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Therapy Verbatim,” 1969

Pain in life comes when our reality doesn’t match our expectations. Most of us expect to have achieved certain milestones in life by a certain age. 

We expect to be married, have a family, climb the career ladder or reach the top in a specific way within a set amount of time. We expect other people to be kind, respectful and trustworthy. 

These are our blueprints – our expectations for the way we believe our lives “should” turn out to be. 

When reality doesn’t live up to our blueprints, we feel pain. 

The truth is that life doesn’t owe you anything – so stop expecting and start managing. 

The reality is no one cares about your expectations except you. 

The simplest example of this truism is the golden rule. We think if we treat others well we will be treated in kind. I think we all have experienced otherwise.