You are the one

Oneness is the quantity and quality of “one” – meaning being on your own

Philosophers reframe solitude as an opportunity for reflection, deep work, relaxation, and growth.

Science shows that each mood has its wisdom

Im less lonely when I’m alone – less expectations

When alone no comp to drive you, it as as if all the freedom makes you inactive, when people are around you tend to look busy just to avoid them

Reframing isolation as an opportunity for reflection, deep work, relaxation, and growth, philosophers aim to transform loneliness into meaningful solitude.

In Petrarch’s view from 1356, solitude is a source of freedom and virtue that “rehabilitates the soul, corrects morals, renews affections, erases blemishes, purges faults, (and) reconciles God and man.” 

Or, as musical artist Drake echoed 666 years later, “I’ve been losing friends and finding peace. Honestly, that sounds like a fair trade to me.”

Other thinkers have embraced loneliness even with its sharp edges. The Buddhist meditation master Chögyam Trungpa claimed the lonely state of having “nothing around you that you can hang onto” is a window through which to “meet one’s real ego without clothing.”

Nietzsche elevated solitude to political significance as a protector from oppression, writing “Wherever there has been tyranny, there the solitary philosopher has been hated, for philosophy offers an asylum to a man into which no tyranny can force its way.” 

Hannah Arendt observed that a lonely population is ripe for totalitarian domination. For this reason, dictatorial regimes use ideology to enforce a desperate kind of isolation without solitude. “The self-compulsion of ideological thinking,” Arendt wrote, “ruins all relationships with reality.”

No matter how philosophically valuable one’s solitude is, too much time without meaningful contact with others will inevitably mutate into a more toxic loneliness. Arendt, again, wrote, “What makes loneliness so unbearable is the loss of one’s own self which can be realised in solitude.”

Work examining narratives of solitude showed that many people of all ages feel that being alone can be invaluable as a way to improve one’s competencies and as a reminder of the value of one’s social connections. 

Solitude provides the room to explore the beauty of life beyond social relationships. -Amelia Kaveladze

Emotion researchers have argued that seeing one’s problems through the bluish tint of loneliness offers a fresh and useful perspective that one might miss in a satisfied emotional state—each mood has its wisdom. 

Solitude might also be a time to reflect on one’s more and less valued relationships, as a strained relationship causes as much stress as a supportive one brings joy. 

A calm appreciation of the present moment (rather than desperately reaching for any available interaction) is a wise way to face loneliness.

D. W. Winnicott in his article of that name (1958/64) highlighted the importance of the capacity to be alone, distinguishing it from both withdrawal and loneliness, and seeing it as derived from an internalisation of the non-intrusive background presence of a mothering figure

Winnicott in his writings always stressed the importance of the baby being allowed “just to lie back and float”, and of the “opportunity that the baby has to experience separation without separation”

Out of those early experiences emerges the capacity to be alone in (or out of) the presence of others – something which might have to be re-acquired later in life through psychotherapy.

A later strand of analysis, drawing on the work on listening of Theodore Reik, has emphasised the importance of the analyst’s capacity to be alone in the analytic situation – to remain centred in themselves in the face of the projections and resistances of the patient.

Buddha said, “It’s better to walk alone, than to walk with a fool”. Not always being together is good, being together can be a nuisance! A Human beings can be conscious, and be complete within ourselves, without the need of company. For transformation to happen, one needs to realize that they are an ‘individual’ – that’s the power of being #alone.